"Horses won't want to respect you unless you show them that you're a
And neither will a wife. Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not comparing wives to horses. But, I am saying that wives will want to respect a worthy leader. When I was not getting any respect from my wife, I naturally thought that it was her shortcoming that she was not respecting (submitting to) her husband. That was not very Christian of her! It did not immediately occur to me that her lack of respect was due to my unworthy leadership. In fact, it took a very long time for that idea to sink in.
A concept that I've come to believe is an oxymoron is the concept of "demanding respect." Respect is earned; gained through consistent worthy leadership. Respect cannot be demanded any more than forgiveness or love or grace or friendship. Respect by definition is given freely, without coercion of any sort.
Ken Nair has shown me a startling equation based on Ephesians 5:25-26 "Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,"
That equation goes like this: Christlike husband = Holy wife
Its corollary is frightening. It goes like this:
Un-Christlike husband = ?? (you fill in the blank)
This is where I understood that pointing the finger of blame did me no good, but self-examination was very helpful.
Your ally in the pursuit of Christlikeness, Kim