"The mirror on my wall
Casts an image dark and small
But I'm not sure at all it's my reflection.
I am blinded by the light
Of God and truth and right
And I wander in the night without direction.
So I'll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end,
And Flowers Never Bend
With The Rainfall."
Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall
I've been encouraged by Dave DuFour, a friend and counsellor, not to view my shortcomings as "weaknesses," but as evidence of how strong my "flesh" really is. I agree and will do my best to change my frame of reference on this. One of the areas where my flesh is strong is its tendency to protect itself so that I don't deal with it. Here's an example:
I lie to myself. I like to think I have all the time in the world to effect the changes that I want to in my life. The reality is, I'm 50 years old now. It seems like just yesterday I was 30. But, 70 seems light years away (if I ever make it)! With so many of my commitments, re-commitments and resolutions, the critical question is "When, When.....WHEN!!!!" If my quest is to change the way I think act and talk to be more Christlike...the critical question is..."WHEN?" My pattern is to procrastinate, overthink, hem and haw, make excuses, postpone, dilly dally, get overwhelmed, and just plain waste a bunch of time. In my weaker moments (when my reflection is "dark and small"), I refuse to believe these things about myself. Everyone around me suffers for my lack of sense of urgency about my un-Christlikeness.
For me, the answer to the critical question is "Now, Now...NOW!!!"
"But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers." John 4:23