"The mirror on my wall
Casts an image dark and small
But I'm not sure at all it's my reflection.
I am blinded by the light
Of God and truth and right
And I wander in the night without direction.
So I'll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end,
And Flowers Never Bend
With The Rainfall."
Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall
Paul Simon
I've been encouraged by Dave DuFour, a friend and counsellor, not to view my shortcomings as "weaknesses," but as evidence of how strong my "flesh" really is. I agree and will do my best to change my frame of reference on this. One of the areas where my flesh is strong is its tendency to protect itself so that I don't deal with it. Here's an example:
I lie to myself. I like to think I have all the time in the world to effect the changes that I want to in my life. The reality is, I'm 50 years old now. It seems like just yesterday I was 30. But, 70 seems light years away (if I ever make it)! With so many of my commitments, re-commitments and resolutions, the critical question is "When, When.....WHEN!!!!" If my quest is to change the way I think act and talk to be more Christlike...the critical question is..."WHEN?" My pattern is to procrastinate, overthink, hem and haw, make excuses, postpone, dilly dally, get overwhelmed, and just plain waste a bunch of time. In my weaker moments (when my reflection is "dark and small"), I refuse to believe these things about myself. Everyone around me suffers for my lack of sense of urgency about my un-Christlikeness.
For me, the answer to the critical question is "Now, Now...NOW!!!"
"But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers." John 4:23
Peace, Kim
those are very sad lyrics
ReplyDeleteI also like to consider the flip side of my shortcomings. My difficulty in listening, for instance, is linked to the positive quality of being analytical and solution-oriented. So it is a discipline to put the positive quality aside in certain contexts, to make sure it doesn't overtake me and become a source of destruction.
ReplyDeleteAlways good to hear you thinking out loud with honesty and earnestness.
Kim, I agree with L.L. I do appreciate your openness as it helps others of us who are struggling in ways very much related to that.
ReplyDeleteI think the lie you speak of that in one way or another we all struggle with, is to fail to really believe God's truth about reality and about our lives. It is challenging to do so, since we're naturally warped in our sin.
But when we take God's side, then we find that the very things we embraced we're really death to us, and we're at long last finding true life in God.
But somehow we keep going back and clinging to what is harmful. I'm working on this in my own life as well.
Nancy - I agree, especially when they apply to me!! I was surprised to find them in an old Simon & Garfunkle song!
ReplyDeleteLL - At least it sounds like you have strong points to counter-balance your weak ones! Sometimes I wonder about myself. I agree with you, though. I wonder, can we be too introspective???
Ted - You are right. My next post is going to be about the "values of the parallel universe" another "true reality." Welcome to the "always working on it" club!