Wednesday, April 23, 2008

P4E.068 Selfish

(7th in a series on predator patterning)

I've been writing about the overt aspects of predator patterning that may seem obvious to you (or maybe not). Even though they may be obvious, these patterns are not easily interrupted.

There are more subtle aspects of predator patterning that are less obvious, but more universal. At its heart, predator behavior is selfish. The predator attitude is, "I come first at your expense." It is an intensely natural patterning. The patterning is like this:

- My survival comes first.
My priorities, values, desires, attitudes, thoughts, ideas and comfort must survive at the expense of yours.
- I cannot control my emotions or aggressiveness.
They are my unchangeable nature.
- I act on instinct before I think. Thinking slows me down.
- I look for weakness and exploit it when I find it.
- I can be sneaky or I can be blatant. Whatever it takes to win.
- My focus is acute. I'm intense.
- I'm a straight-line thinker. I'm very predictable. I'm not very creative.
- Fear me. I can and will hurt you.
- I will not retreat unless I fail. I do not accept failure easily.

Although this patterning is inwardly focused (selfish) it is usually not self-aware. In other words, because it comes so naturally, we don't know we're doing it when we're doing it. Guys, if you are doubting that you act out in this patterning, the best way to find out is to ask the one closest to you. Ask your wife. Read her answer. If she is uncomfortable, she may avoid answering the question, which in itself provides the answer. If you are one of the fortunate, your wife may comfortably answer "No, you don't act that way towards me. I just can't stand it. You give too much."

Whatever the answer, I encourage you to listen and not to speak. Don't get defensive. We're on a reconnaissance mission, not engaging in battle.

Some of us already know the answer. We don't need help to know that we are selfish by nature. Some of us know and want to change. So the next question is, "How can I interrupt this pattern?" I promise to start addressing the answer in the next post.

In the mean time, here's another provocative question:

"Are there any important parts of my life where I believe that acting like a predator is beneficial and/or necessary?"

Peace, Kim

1 comment:

  1. Oh, hard questions. And I think I don't like the answers!