Thursday, May 29, 2008

P4E.073 Broaden Your Mind

(12th in a series on predator patterning)

Another example of single-minded predator intensity is that I get blinders on. I believe there is only one way to accomplish my obscure goals. I put my nose to the grindstone and throw all my efforts into that one way. I don't ask for help or directions. I don't need "alternatives." I have no need to be "creative." My way is right. Don't try to dissuade me or confuse me with facts.

My wife, Gwen, has said to me many times, "What you are doing is not working. Try something different. Anything!" She might say this to my attempts to interact with our sons, or my attempts to apologize after a disagreement or my attempts to encourage her (something I'm terrible at). She has definitely said it to me with regard to my being self-employed for many years.

I've debriefed with Gwen and asked "What could I or should I have done in that situation? What would have worked?" When she's given me a simple, straight-forward, uncomplicated answer, I've responded, "Really? That wouldn't have worked, would it?" Her "I can't believe you're saying that. Don't even start with me!" look gave me my answer.

So, the next phase in subverting our predator patterning is:
Step 4: Broaden Your Mind! Get Creative! Try Something Different!

I've found myself and others I have observed deeply entrenched in a perception of how things are and how they could or should be. Here's a list of subjects (in no particular order) for your consideration about which to broaden your mind, get creative and try something different:

Wife, women, marriage, children, fatherhood, friends, work, place of residence, money, spiritual leadership, change, materialism, child discipline, politics, the USA, illegal immigrants, homosexuals, the Bible, church, religion, religious denominations, time, social justice, the poor, the environment, arguments, encouragement, apologies, values and ideals, the past, the present, the future, driving, entertainment, television, hobbies, etc.... Get the idea?

Do I really believe that my deeply held convictions on these subjects are right and true? By whose standard? How can I be sure? How important is my individual stance on these subjects? What difference am I making by holding such a stance? Am I damaging relationships with those who are close to me by clinging to my narrow thinking? I'm an architect. Part of my job is to be creative. Yet, I can get so stuck!

Sometimes we need help with Step 4. Here's a quote from Ken Nair, founder of Life Partners, that suggests where we can go to get such help:

"Could God be so uncomplicated as to call the help He has provided for you 'help'?"

"The LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him.' "
Genesis 2:18 (NIV)
Of course, then He created woman/wife.

Your Ally in the Pursuit of Christlikeness, Kim

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