tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84012324503016168412024-03-14T00:31:21.992-07:00Preparation 4 EternityKimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.comBlogger281125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-2007797756673256402022-05-24T11:22:00.006-07:002022-05-24T11:25:12.946-07:00P4E.279 A Societal Crossroads<div style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVLbhZ8jlkUnhPEO1HSXMmS_mCTuhqc-V_KD3SaQxOP9hIZlNCZTPmqPzj4DQ0BOv4I50tnvLCmFJ2sSqa1s0VLwENRsQbHn0zJnpiNHhVWsZ17tajkEdU8xpUovEO0OnJ6HVr2BParFKLPPfOGeGoBIU9DN0gSLo5p1I-wy1fjKItNUwPriwhQQ/s666/NarrowGate.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="452" data-original-width="666" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVLbhZ8jlkUnhPEO1HSXMmS_mCTuhqc-V_KD3SaQxOP9hIZlNCZTPmqPzj4DQ0BOv4I50tnvLCmFJ2sSqa1s0VLwENRsQbHn0zJnpiNHhVWsZ17tajkEdU8xpUovEO0OnJ6HVr2BParFKLPPfOGeGoBIU9DN0gSLo5p1I-wy1fjKItNUwPriwhQQ/w400-h271/NarrowGate.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br /> </div><div style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #030303; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: arial;">“I
shall be telling this with a sigh<br /></span></span><span style="background: rgb(249, 249, 249); color: #030303; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Somewhere
ages and ages hence:<br /></span></span><span style="background: rgb(249, 249, 249); color: #030303; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Two
roads diverged in a wood, and I—<br /></span></span><span style="background: rgb(249, 249, 249); color: #030303; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I
took the one less traveled by,<br /></span></span><span style="background: rgb(249, 249, 249); color: #030303; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: arial;">And
that has made all the difference.”</span></span></div><div style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="background: rgb(249, 249, 249); color: #030303; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;">Robert
Frost</span></span></span></div>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #030303; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt;">Eons
of human existence resulted in social contracts that allowed individuals to
live in relative harmony in society. These social contracts allowed people to
communicate and interact with confidence, knowing that the definition of words
and social constructs were held in common. We’ve referred to that state of
affairs as Western Civilization. We became civilized by the mutual understandings
that allow us to live together in relative peace.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #030303; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt;">If
human history was represented as a 24 hour clock, it is only in the last
fraction of a second that postmodern deconstruction has laid waste to the
social contracts that took eons to bind. Religion and philosophy have been the
vehicles that gave meaning to life. Science was welcomed into that circle but
has been a double edged sword. It has been useful in answering the questions of
what, when, and where. The questions of who and why are still left to religion
and philosophy.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #030303; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt;">Now
it seems that every social contract is being brought into question. This has
brought about a complete breakdown in trust. We can no longer communicate with
confidence. This is forcing us to separate, to segregate, to silo with others with
whom we can confidently socialize. Interaction is becoming increasingly difficult,
because the unspoken “rules” of engagement are no longer clear. Is authority
powerless? Is solid porous? Is uniformity weakness? Is diversity strength? Is
black white? Is conservation waste? Is law liberty? Is truth deceit? Is
violence peace? Is male female? Is death life? </span><span style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #030303; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #030303; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt;">Is good evil?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #030303; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt;">This
discourse is, by nature, conservative because it implies that order is better
than chaos. It relies on thoughtfulness over emotion. It values social
contracts over anarchy. But this is the crossroads we approach. Do we devolve
into disorder, or can we pull back from the edge and form new social contracts
that keep us civil? Time will tell.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: #f9f9f9; color: #030303; font-family: arial; font-size: 10.5pt;">“Enter
by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the
way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.”</span></p>
<span style="background: rgb(249, 249, 249); color: #030303; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><div><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;">Matthew 7:13</span></div></span></span>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-12317547635377425182021-12-24T21:44:00.002-08:002021-12-24T21:44:50.502-08:00P4E.278 Hark! The Herald Angels Sing<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiXi2aYj8x8-x1icRp4e9j38ssA3Mo3J8WFWwWQG-nbB1SnXMGvnVwK4ZpTceP8NG0UsadEtye2fgnGq9qv4qvkuSSWNPBCUO8yANGhfc38D_toGuclpMIYKhDSY2YClKsBzxTcFAv0NovTEEPZvHUzcFoixYLmp9k_k-ED60SfV-IG4JCSF-TVyg=s450" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="313" data-original-width="450" height="279" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiXi2aYj8x8-x1icRp4e9j38ssA3Mo3J8WFWwWQG-nbB1SnXMGvnVwK4ZpTceP8NG0UsadEtye2fgnGq9qv4qvkuSSWNPBCUO8yANGhfc38D_toGuclpMIYKhDSY2YClKsBzxTcFAv0NovTEEPZvHUzcFoixYLmp9k_k-ED60SfV-IG4JCSF-TVyg=w400-h279" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The Annunciation to the Shepherds, Nicolaes Berchem, 1649</span></p>I'm recently reminded how laden with meaning the traditional hymns that we sing at Christmas are. Here, as an example, are the lyrics of Hark! The Herald Angels Sing. The hymn we sing at Christmas is the collaboration of two greats, Charles Wesley and Felix Mendelssohn. Lyrics written in the 18th century and music in the 19th. We usually know the first verse of these hymns and have to refer to the hymnal for the following verses. I've been surprised by how rich the second and third verses of this hymn are.</span><p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">1 Hark! the herald angels sing,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">"Glory to the newborn King:<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">peace on earth, and mercy mild,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">God and sinners reconciled!"<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">Joyful, all ye nations, rise,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">join the triumph of the skies;<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">with th'angelic hosts proclaim,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">"Christ is born in Bethlehem!"<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">2 Christ, by highest heaven adored,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">Christ, the everlasting Lord,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">late in time behold him come,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">offspring of the Virgin's womb:<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">veiled in flesh the Godhead see;<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">hail th'incarnate Deity,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">pleased with us in flesh to dwell,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">Jesus, our Immanuel.<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">3 Hail the heaven-born Prince of Peace!<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">Hail the Sun of Righteousness!<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">Light and life to all he brings,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">risen with healing in his wings.<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">Mild he lays his glory by,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">born that we no more may die,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">born to raise us from the earth,<br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;">born to give us second birth.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">God bless you this Christmas!</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Peace on Earth.</span></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-64485649969432780872021-11-24T10:25:00.002-08:002021-11-24T14:28:32.388-08:00P4E.277 The Impossible, Unbearable, Ennobling Burden<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9lvEw52DfHE/YZ5_k7tB-FI/AAAAAAAAWFg/e85HdJRgai0ScovIUj-1tG8v5n_eShy-gCLcBGAsYHQ/s901/Love-NonJudgment-Humility-Forgiveness.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="850" data-original-width="901" height="302" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9lvEw52DfHE/YZ5_k7tB-FI/AAAAAAAAWFg/e85HdJRgai0ScovIUj-1tG8v5n_eShy-gCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Love-NonJudgment-Humility-Forgiveness.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif">Social media has provided a mask of
anonymity that encourages us to write things that we would self-censor
in person. In augmented reality, we create avatar-personas that we allow to be
much more judgmental and verbally hostile than we are in real-life. The social
media feed-back loop that reinforces and rewards our arrogant attitudes is ever
present and urges us to write more and more outrageous things and to
espouse shocking ideas. We have been brought to a place where so much is
considered “unforgivable” and so many are “cancelled”, that many people fear
for their future.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif">In this social/political/cultural
atmosphere we’d do well to remember the virtues that Judeo-Christianity has advanced
to humanity since the beginning of recorded time.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif">Humility</span></u><span face="Arial, sans-serif">: If there’s one virtue that Judeo-Christianity
has promulgated, it is humility. In the face of an Almighty God, in the Books
of the Old and New Testament, the stories that unfold repeatedly teach the lesson
of humility. Humility is at odds with arrogance. The arrogance of knowing that
the position/opinion/values that one holds are absolutely, undoubtedly correct.
Not only correct, but morally true. And that means if another disagrees, they
must be immoral liars. Jesus taught humility in Luke 13:</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.5in;"><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;"><br /></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.5in;"><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">23 And someone said to
Him, "Lord, are there just a few who are being saved?" And He said to
them, 24 "Strive to enter through the narrow door; for many, I tell you,
will seek to enter and will not be able. 25 Once the head of the house gets up
and shuts the door, and you begin to stand outside and knock on the door,
saying, ‘Lord, open up to us!' then He will answer and say to you, ‘I do not
know where you are from.' 26 Then you will begin to say, ‘We ate and drank in
Your presence, and You taught in our streets'; 27 and He will say, ‘I tell you,
I do not know where you are from; depart from Me, all you evildoers .'28 In
that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth when you see Abraham and
Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but yourselves
being thrown out. 29 And they will come from east and west and from north and
south, and will recline at the table in the kingdom of God. 30 And behold, some
are last who will be first and some are first who will be last." </span></i><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white;">This idea of thinking that you have a relationship and would
be able to enter only to be told you are not known and to depart must be meant
to impart humility. What could be more direct than to be told that the last
will be first and the first will be last?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><u><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background: white;">Non-Judgment:</span></u><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background: white;"> Christ repeatedly
reminds us that we should not judge. Why? Jesus tells us in Luke 6:</span></p><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white;"> </span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.5in; text-align: left;"><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">36 “Be merciful, just as
your Father is merciful. 37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do
not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.”</span></i></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;"><br /></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">It seems so easy, in these times, to judge and condemn others;
so difficult to extend mercy and pardon. But we must consider the humility
necessary to be aware that we are guilty of the very things that we are judging
and condemning. Later in Luke 6 Jesus says:</span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white;"> </span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.5in; text-align: left;"><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">42 “Or how can you say
to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,' when
you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first
take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the
speck that is in your brother's eye.”</span></i><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white;"> </span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;"><br /></span></u></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">Forgiveness</span></u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">: It is
Judeo-Christianity that has promulgated the virtue of forgiveness in the
western world. The One God is presented as the highest good, to be reverenced
and followed and emulated. He is described by Moses in Numbers 14:</span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white;"> </span></div>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.5in;"><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">18 “The LORD is slow to
anger and abounding in loving devotion, forgiving iniquity and transgression.”</span></i><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.5in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">When Jesus gives us the template for prayer in Matthew 6 He
says:</span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.5in;"><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">12 “…forgive us our
sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us…</span></i><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.5in;"><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">14 If you forgive those
who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you
refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”</span></i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.5in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">Love:</span></u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;"> The binding force
between all the other virtues is Love. Love provides the humility to consider
others before ourselves. Love curbs and softens our hearts towards those whom
we would judge and condemn. Love gives us the moral imperative to let go of a grudge.
When asked what the greatest commandments were, Jesus responded in Mark 12:</span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white;"> </span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0in 40.5pt; text-align: left;"><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">29 “…This is the most
important: ‘Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One. 30 Love the Lord
your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and
with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as
yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”</span></i></div>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 40.5pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin: 0in 0in 0in 40.5pt;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">I have said that Judeo-Christianity holds the key…has always
held the key…to the current social/political/cultural climate. The One God is
to be held in highest esteem and is to be reverenced, followed, emulated, and loved above all
else. Even knowing that it isn’t possible to achieve oneness with God, that the
burden is great and un-bearable, we are ennobled even in the pursuit.</span></div>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext;">Give Thanks!</span><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><br /><p></p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-4028146118920285342021-11-09T15:22:00.002-08:002021-11-24T14:44:08.672-08:00P4E.276 My Will Be Done<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1sMOvRdqY7c/YYsA-yJxfeI/AAAAAAAAV5g/BfhcrJc-Pj0ruKlJ9bwpI3x893Cc1fifACLcBGAsYHQ/s800/Grief.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="565" data-original-width="800" height="226" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1sMOvRdqY7c/YYsA-yJxfeI/AAAAAAAAV5g/BfhcrJc-Pj0ruKlJ9bwpI3x893Cc1fifACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Grief.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: inherit;">The
Pastor of our church used the phrase “My will be done” in a homily a few weeks
ago. He contrasted it with “Thy will be done” in The Lord’s Prayer. It’s stuck
with me. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">As I look
back over my life, it’s been blessed. I grew up in Highland Park, California.
That’s considered “East-LA”. My father immigrated from China when he was a
child and my mother is of Mexican descent, born in La Mesa, New Mexico. My
father was a federal bank examiner and my mother worked for financial
institutions and the local school district. When I was around 10 years old, we
moved to Orange County, California. I would say we progressed from lower middle-class
to middle middle-class.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">I graduated
from the California Polytechnic State University at San Luis Obispo, was
married at 21 and am still married to the same lovely wife 44 years later. We
had 3 sons and now have 3 daughters-in-law and 3 grandchildren. I’ve had a long,
fulfilling career as an architect and engineer. I was raised Catholic, left the
Church for Protestant/Evangelical/Non-Denominational churches and have now since
returned to the Catholic Church.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">There
have been no major disasters in my life. No tears in the fabric of my being. No
huge holes in my heart. I’ve had a good life. For me, this has become a double-edged
sword. All this good fortune has brought about expectations. Because things
have fallen into place in my life, I expect them to continue to do so. When
they do not, even on the smallest level, I find myself put out. I’m impatient,
frustrated, and angry. Strangely, when the relatively bigger challenges arise,
I’m more patient, more resolved to accept the fates. It’s the small things that
gnaw at my longsuffering. Let the paper misload in the printer; let an
important phone call be missed; let the customer service person be less than
helpful and I’m undone.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">My wife
regularly (and rightly) points out my lack of gratitude. I used to wonder what gratitude
had to do with the challenges I was experiencing. How it would help me endure the
internet service that keeps buffering and cutting out?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">I want MY
WILL to be done! That means, things go right. Without a hitch. No problems. “Well,”
my wife wonders, “Where in the world did you ever get the idea that you were
entitled to a world with no problems?” She’s right about that. She is right
about that.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Becoming
aware of the strength of people who are struggling with cancer, who’ve been
molested or harassed or mistreated, who’ve lost loved ones in tragic circumstances,
who’ve lost a limb, or become completely paralyzed, who’ve failed repeatedly, who
are caring for a loved one who’s health is failing, or worst of all, who are
losing hope should and does make me feel grateful for my lot in life.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">But the
Holy Scriptures of my Faith also point out that I should not only be grateful
for the good things that have happened in my life but also be grateful for the
trials that befall me.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .3in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.3in;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">“Consider it all joy…when you encounter various
trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance
have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in
nothing.”</span></i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> (James 1:2-4)<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif">I need to
be reminded that these trials are meant to turn my attention to the One who is
the source of the comfort that gets me through them </span><u>and why</u><span face="Arial, sans-serif">.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: inherit;"><o:p style="background-color: white;"> </o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .3in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.3in;"><i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: inherit;">“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord
Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in
all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any
affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God”</span></i><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"> (2 Cor.
1:3-4)</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif">In these times, I’m not
looking for relief from suffering. I will suffer. If I'm not suffering now, it
will surely come. Who will I be when the suffering comes? Will I purposely make
it worse? Will my response compound the grief and sorrow? Or will I endure and
be a source of strength and comfort to those who need it? I fervently pray that
I am the latter. Not mine, but His will be done.</span></p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-8541363118755443222021-10-18T14:25:00.000-07:002021-10-18T14:25:16.169-07:00P4E.275 Suddenly<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nItKzKlUfHg/YW3k7pYiM3I/AAAAAAAAVhY/PprD8gYjvLke0CMrhlbF0auQChoDCAS9QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1200/BabyBath.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="1200" height="168" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nItKzKlUfHg/YW3k7pYiM3I/AAAAAAAAVhY/PprD8gYjvLke0CMrhlbF0auQChoDCAS9QCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/BabyBath.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><i>Yesterday<br /></i><i>All my
troubles seemed so far away<br /></i><i>Now it
looks as if they’re here to stay<br /></i><i>Oh, I believe
in yesterday</i></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><i>Suddenly</i></p><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;"><i>I’m not
half the man I used to be<br /></i><i>There’s a
shadow hangin’ over me<br /></i><i>Oh,
yesterday came suddenly<br /></i>Lennon-McCartney</div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">Being
closer to the end of my life than the beginning, these words are resonating
with me lately. Not because of a doomed romance, but because of a lost love. The
love that seems suddenly lost and dying is the culture that has come to unify
the western world over centuries (and possibly millennia or even eons).<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">My holding
to the values and culture that, in my view, best define and direct humanity has
me feeling suddenly irrelevant and invisible. Suddenly overshadowed. Suddenly
so…yesterday. But I’m not apologetic for holding to those values. The zeitgeist
of the 2020s has taken a dark turn. An accusatory, unforgiving, malevolent, destructive
turn. It’s as if every institution that gave solidity to existence has been
drawn into question. As if every baby is to be thrown out with the bath water.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">Let me
expand on that metaphor for a minute. The baby is what is considered valuable.
The baby’s value resides in its inherent value as a human being. It resides in
the baby’s potential and in its innocence. The baby has no power over itself or
others. It relies completely on those in whom the baby’s well being has been
entrusted. But the baby messes itself. It drools. It plays in the dirt. It can’t
completely be fed without getting the food all over itself. It needs a bath.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">So, the
basin is prepared with warm, clean water. The universal solvent. As soap is
applied and the baby is sponged, the dirt, the drool, the mess, and the excess
food are washed away into the water. Now baby is returned to its pristine state
and the water is no longer clean. Here the metaphor becomes clear: when
emptying the basin, the valuable baby should not be tossed away with the dirty
water.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">The
institutions that have held us together are so under fire that they seem close
to collapse. There are those that seem intent on throwing them out with the
bath water. Are they dirty? Yes. Flawed? Yes. In need of attention/repair/improvement?
Yes. But should we destroy them?</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">Religion
and Christianity, in particular, have receded in our culture’s value system.
The emphasis on science has unnecessarily relegated Christianity to the
sidelines of relevance in the zeitgeist of the 21<sup>st</sup> Century. Science
and Christianity need not be mutually exclusive. They need not and cannot consistently
be mutually affirming. They feed different parts of human need.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">I recently
heard a podcast interview with Jaron Lanier. If you haven’t heard of him, see
here: <a href="http://jaronlanier.com">jaronlanier.com</a> . He purposefully has no social media accounts. He
started talking about people’s interest in UFOs.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><i>“…(it) fills a human need. People need to have
something to obsess over. People need to experience their brains thinking
beyond the edge of what’s official. They need to be able to have common quests.
The need to be able to explore things that might not be true, because otherwise
truth calcifies. This is something that we all need. This is legitimate. Being
able to be obsessed with things that are at the edge of thought is really
important. Being able to do it with other people is very healthy and maybe even
vital.”<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">Even
though he wasn’t talking about religion, and he might even disagree that his
words could be used in reference to religion, I found the similarity of thought
interesting.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">I draw
comfort from the shared Judeo-Christian Scriptures: The idea of One Creator
God, Who exemplifies eternity, good, truth, light, wisdom gives me solace. He
cannot be proven. Those who have ears to hear and eyes to see hear and see Him.
But the “not knowing” can and should be the impetus to explore what “might not
be true”. There is a man I know and admire who responds to the question, “Do
you believe in God?” by saying “I try to act as if there is one.”</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">There are
reasons why the ancient Holy Scriptures encourage us to honor our father and
our mother (Deut 5:16), ideally the source of the wisdom of the past. There is
a reason why Christ said</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><i>“Do not think that I have come to abolish the
Law or the Prophets. I have not come to abolish them, but to fulfill them. For
I tell you truly, until heaven and earth pass away, not a single jot, not a
stroke of a pen, will disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.”<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">(Matt 5:17-18)<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"> We toss aside these ideals at our own peril. The
promise associated with the command to honor father and mother: <i>“so that
your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the
LORD your God is giving you”</i> literally promises longevity and well-being to
those who keep the wisdom of the past. The alternative?</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">Returning
to the baby and the bath water metaphor, Jesus brought a child before His
disciples and said,</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;"><i>“And whoever welcomes a little child like this
in My name welcomes Me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who
believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a large millstone
hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the
world for the causes of sin. These stumbling blocks must come, but woe to the
man through whom they come!”</i> (Matt 18:5-7)<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Sometimes
I do feel as if the world sees me as “half the man I used to be,” but it helps
me to not care what the rest of the world thinks. Not in that regard. I will
try not to be the man through whom stumbling blocks come.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p> </o:p><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Blessings.</span></span></p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-50790473467467336432021-10-07T10:31:00.000-07:002021-10-07T10:31:46.219-07:00P4E.274 Honor Your Father and Mother<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-94Pw8XvoU6I/YV8tzTD5tqI/AAAAAAAAVco/Fj_AzlkYQkgZ0df_o6IisC9ZQWkgCDCNACLcBGAsYHQ/s1598/10-ten-commandments-moses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1598" height="239" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-94Pw8XvoU6I/YV8tzTD5tqI/AAAAAAAAVco/Fj_AzlkYQkgZ0df_o6IisC9ZQWkgCDCNACLcBGAsYHQ/w425-h239/10-ten-commandments-moses.jpg" width="425" /></a></div><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The commandment to honor your father and mother is vital to the stability of humanity. Historians date the writing of Exodus, where the commandments are recorded, to be as early as 1,450 BC, almost 3,500 years ago. Even then, man had been around for a very long time. Long enough to know, or be taught, how to live and how to live with each other. God and man also both knew the wickedness that man was capable of and what boundaries needed to be put in place. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The genius of the commandment is that it burdens both parents and children. Parents are obliged to behave honorably by representing God properly and passing down the lessons of the past (I confess that I could have done better in this regard). And through the generations, fathers and mothers were charged with raising their children in the way they should go. Children, in turn, honor God by honoring their parents and carrying on the accumulation of millennia of traditions and values . Children were urged, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, And do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">But Christ knew that men’s hearts are rebellious and that He, Himself, would cause division: “Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division…They will be divided, father against son, and son against father; mother against daughter, and daughter against mother…” </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Ultimately, parents die, and their children become parents and all are responsible for their own behavior. Sometimes the evil prosper and bad things happen to good people. And, because God is sovereign and men are inclined to evil, justice is hardly expected here on Earth. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In the end, the wisest man said that all was futile. When all had been said, he advised us to “fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.”</span></p>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-63273999989866443792019-12-05T10:18:00.001-08:002021-10-06T09:52:48.186-07:00P4E.273 You Matter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1ctc6xvkQ10/XelI-_655mI/AAAAAAAAK84/yLgTiWRwqU0KyWCX1ec8ZScY-wIr0deOQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Pain.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="775" data-original-width="1300" height="190" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1ctc6xvkQ10/XelI-_655mI/AAAAAAAAK84/yLgTiWRwqU0KyWCX1ec8ZScY-wIr0deOQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Pain.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
In the early 2000's my marriage was in deep trouble. We were very fortunate in finding an amazing para-church ministry that helped us find a way through those times. Now, one of the leadership couples of that ministry just announced that, after 24 years of marriage, they are divorcing. They're not the first (and probably won't be the last). Of course, everyone is wishing them well, as do I. But, at my age I feel entitled to have an opinion; to have feelings about it.<br />
<br />
Acknowledging all the normal and expected caveats of, "you haven't kept in touch with them, you don't know their pain, you don't know all the particulars, the history, the circumstances, how things change, you can't and shouldn't judge, there but for the grace of God go I, etc.," it still hurts. It's still confusing and discouraging and disappointing. It still leaves me desperate and wondering.<br />
<br />
In the para-church ministry I mentioned, emphasis was placed on the husband, as spiritual leader, being responsible for the state of his marriage. To love his wife like Christ loved the church, "and gave Himself up for her." As that leadership couple taught me, I've come to believe this wholeheartedly and so lay the responsibility for the split at the husband's door. I know that I'm walking a fine line between holding him accountable and judging him; that I leave myself open to being called a hypocrite myself (now and in the future). But in this moment, that is what I feel and believe. We were taught, by this couple, that the state of the marriage is an accurate reflection of the state of the husband's relationship to Christ. What must that relationship be like if they have decided to divorce?<br />
<br />
There are very few men who have influenced me. One, who I've recently come under the influence of, says that life is struggle. That the antidote to that struggle is discovering meaning. And that meaning can be found in taking on responsibility. That responsibility comes about when we shoulder the burden that EVERYTHING WE THINK, SAY, AND DO MATTERS. Each one of us knows 1,000 people. And each of them knows 1,000 people. So, we are literally 1 person away from 1,000,000 people. We are individuals, but we live in a society and a culture. This is only compounded by social media. By what we think, say, and do, each of us MAKES A DIFFERENCE in the lives of others. (At this time of year, the story of "It's a Wonderful Life" comes to mind)<br />
<br />
I know that I'm not the only one so deeply affected by that leadership couple's decision to divorce. All this is meant to be an encouragement to you, my friends. What you THINK, SAY, and DO matters. Lean into the struggle. There will be pain. Tears must fall. Find the meaning in it. Bear your burden. Endure.<br />
<br />
<i>"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."</i> James 1:2-4<br />
<br />
PS - I know that, just as in my favorite sport of Baseball, the story isn't over until it's over. We always hold out hope!Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-55926152191808557432018-08-17T15:36:00.000-07:002018-08-17T22:18:40.444-07:00P4E.272 The Wolf and the Lamb<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eN5gzFzQvGo/W3dMybqIfjI/AAAAAAAAG_k/Cd73QS-flig6omfmyi_fGG9jd9PxllEZwCLcBGAs/s1600/wolfandlamb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="142" data-original-width="322" height="141" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eN5gzFzQvGo/W3dMybqIfjI/AAAAAAAAG_k/Cd73QS-flig6omfmyi_fGG9jd9PxllEZwCLcBGAs/s320/wolfandlamb.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm thrilled and honored to be a new contributing writer to <a href="http://www.thrivingmarriages.com/" target="_blank">Thriving Marriages</a>.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Here's the first article published there. It's a very diffcult subject because it hits so close to home:</div>
<br />
The #MeToo movement has shone an uncomfortable light on the fact that many women have been, and continue to be, vulnerable prey to men who behave like predators. I know that some people dismiss the idea of men being predators as trite, but I’m curious and wonder what spiritual lesson we might learn from these physical circumstances? Of course, we know that outright sexual assault is not to be tolerated, but do we husbands sometimes act like predators? Do we even know what it means to act like a predator? And what would we do about it if we did know?<br />
<br />
Some years ago my wife, Gwen, bought Sterling, a silver dun Quarter Horse. She started to study “natural” horsemanship. As Gwen began to share what she was learning, I was struck by the similarities between human/horse relationships and husband/wife relationships. Through Gwen, I learned that horses are stereotypical prey animals and identify humans as predators.<br />
<br />
Gwen and I have been married for over 40 years. We were fortunate to have made it past 10 years. Due to my ungodliness, by the time 24 years rolled around, our marriage was in real trouble. By God’s grace and with the guidance of a unique parachurch ministry, our marriage has healed to the point where Gwen and I now minister to other married couples in crisis. But, before I began to get well our marriage could be characterized as a predator/prey relationship. I was not physically abusive, but engaged in more subtle, though no less damaging, spiritual/emotional predator behavior.<br />
<br />
Gwen has helped me to see that certain things I do, physically, make her feel like prey. If Gwen says something that I don't understand, or disagree with, I might frown (which knits my eyebrows and squints my eyes). I might raise my voice. I might even make a guttural noise that sounds like a growl.<br />
<br />
More spiritually damaging is my predator attitude, which is negative, confrontational, and critical. At its heart, being a predator is selfish. As difficult as it is to admit that I have this attitude, it comes down to this: <i>"I come first at your expense. My survival comes first. My priorities, values, desires, attitudes, ideas and comfort come first. I cannot control my emotions or aggressiveness. They are my unchangeable nature. I act on instinct before I think. I look for weakness and exploit it when I find it. I can be sneaky or I can be blatant; whatever it takes to win. I'm intense. I'm a straight-line thinker; very predictable and not very creative. Fear me. I can and will hurt you.”</i><br />
<br />
When a prey animal feels threatened, it may try to go undetected by remaining still and quiet or camouflaging itself to blend with its surroundings. As a wife and mother, Gwen protected herself and our sons when she felt they were in danger of being spiritually harmed. She’d try to "go silent and unnoticed" and encouraged our sons to do the same. By not engaging in arguments with me, Gwen kept her conscience clear, and herself and our sons out of harm's way.<br />
<br />
Some prey animals, like horses, will flee to escape their predator. Gwen has turned on her heel and walked away, just to escape from an argument with me. Finally, when cornered, some prey animals will fight. Gwen has told me that when we would argue, she would <i>feel trapped</i> and <i>threatened</i>. She felt like she was going to get <i>eaten up</i>, so she would <i>fight for her life</i>.<br />
<br />
In line with how prey responds to its predators, Gwen lost trust in me. I drove her to resentment, bitterness, and coldness towards me.<br />
<br />
When my marriage finally hit rock-bottom, I began to seek godly counsel. At one point my counselor told me, <i>“All God wants is for you to change the way you think, act and talk.”</i> (That’s all!?!) Because the predator attitude came so naturally to me, I didn't even know I was doing it when I was doing it. It was easier to see it in others, but almost impossible to identify it in myself. I needed help. Ken Nair, author of “Discovering the Mind of a Woman,” advised where I might get help to change: <i>"Could God be so uncomplicated as to call the help He has provided for us husbands 'help'?”</i> Taking that advice, I’ve asked Gwen to help me by suggesting some steps I could take to change the predator in me. Here are just three of her ideas.<br />
<br />
The first idea is to slow down. Predators are naturally quick, aggressive, and direct in the pursuit and capture of their prey. To counterbalance the “act without thinking” patterning, I have to slow down. I have to slow down with my <i>harsh words</i> and with my <i>anger</i>. To my shame, I’ve <i>pounced</i> on my wife's mistakes. I’ve corrected Gwen in public, causing her great embarrassment. I’ve become impatient if she were not ready to leave when I was. When I slow down, I have time to think, to gain wisdom and understanding. This is an exercise in patience, a fruit of the Spirit.<br />
<br />
<i>"But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."</i> (Jas. 1:19-20 NAS)<br />
<br />
The second step is to let others go first. Since my natural predator nature is selfish, I do the opposite of what comes naturally and let others go first. It could look like this:<br />
<br />
I'm in a hurry. I arrive at a queue at the grocery store, bank, or fast-food place at about the same time as someone else. I let them go in front of me.<br />
<br />
I'm late for an appointment. I sense that the person driving next to me wants to squeeze himself in the impossibly short distance between me and the car in front of me, with never a turn signal. I back off and let him in.<br />
<br />
Gwen has an idea that’s contrary to my own. I have very good, logical reasons why my idea is better. I freely sacrifice my idea and get behind hers. It is beneficial for me to <i>willingly</i> give up my opinions and count hers as more important than mine.<br />
<br />
<i>“Don't be jealous or proud, but be humble and consider others more important than yourselves.” </i>(Philippians 2:3 CEV)<br />
<br />
Gwen’s third suggestion is to have a change of heart. I think it’s significant that Scripture characterizes the golden age the Messiah will usher in as a time when<i> "the wolf will dwell with the lamb." </i>(Isaiah 11:6 NAS). As part of our pursuit of Christ-likeness, we husbands must change our hearts and stop acting like predators towards those who are close to us. If what is in our hearts is dark and aggressive, our body language, facial expressions, and words will mirror what’s in our hearts. Better to dwell on what is true, pure, and peaceful. What our wives want is the consistency of character that exhibits patience, kindness, and gentleness; a relationship where they can feel safe and even protected by us.<br />
<br />
<i>"The good man out of the treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil man out of his treasure produces evil; for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."</i> (Luk. 6:45-46 RSV)<br />
<br />
Finally, predators are prey for other animals at least some time in their lives. We are, all of us, spiritual prey, all of the time. Sin is our primary predator. It is <i>"lying in wait for you, ready to pounce; it's out to get you..."</i> (Gen. 4:7 MSG). So, whether we see ourselves as predator or prey, <i>ultimately, we need a Savior.</i><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-84493921952213824302017-10-27T10:30:00.002-07:002018-08-17T22:20:22.147-07:00P4E.271 Entitled Lives<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G-t1gTk0Obk/WfNswW4YyfI/AAAAAAAADwI/zhbeX2IjAhUGsvHCytNaEaP43NFXU5NrwCLcBGAs/s1600/IMAG0280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="958" data-original-width="1600" height="191" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G-t1gTk0Obk/WfNswW4YyfI/AAAAAAAADwI/zhbeX2IjAhUGsvHCytNaEaP43NFXU5NrwCLcBGAs/s320/IMAG0280.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We must constantly remind ourselves that we are not entitled to lives
without:</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Annoyances</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Misunderstandings</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Disagreements</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Setbacks</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Mistakes</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Fear</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Sadness</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Unfaithfulness</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Failure</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">False accusations</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Unfairness</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Rejection</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Hostility</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Cruelty</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Injustice</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Prejudice</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Abuse</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Harassment</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Poverty</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Discomfort</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Pain</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Injury</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Illness</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Death</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">In America, we may have laws that punish those who practice some of them,
but the reality is that we are not exempt from experiencing them.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The challenge is that we must live in community with
other human kind. Although we have tremendous capacity for good, we also have a
natural tendency toward selfishness, greed, jealousy, pride, and lust.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">When we encounter the things that upset us, those circumstances bring about
opportunities to develop positive character qualities and pursue our capacity
for good.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">We have a real propensity to make a bad situation worse; to match and
even escalate the negativity that comes our way. But, in our better moments, we
can exercise self-control and practice grace and forgiveness, love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness and goodness.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Let’s do good.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: "calibri";"></span>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-65911676038710806982017-08-26T14:21:00.000-07:002017-08-27T09:48:14.830-07:00P4E.270 It's A Very, Very Mad World<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iKk-IHJY64w/WaHlLXvvREI/AAAAAAAADM0/tOMQMsCBtqwG0TuHokLeF2yo9G_x0uz8QCLcBGAs/s1600/IMAG0457.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="958" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iKk-IHJY64w/WaHlLXvvREI/AAAAAAAADM0/tOMQMsCBtqwG0TuHokLeF2yo9G_x0uz8QCLcBGAs/s320/IMAG0457.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are no situations or circumstances in the world right
now that wouldn’t be helped by a whole lot of Jesus. I don’t mean we need more church
or more worship music. I don’t mean we need a revival or more religion or evangelism or fundamentalism.
I don’t mean the Jesus invoked by some or rejected by others.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Who we need is the man who is the Son of God. The Jesus we
need is the Prince of Peace. He didn’t come to judge the world, but to save the
world. He warned us not to condemn so that we would not be condemned. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>The Jesus I’m talking about encourages us to
love God and to love each other; to treat each other in the way that we would like
to be treated. He told us to forgive, so that we would receive forgiveness. He
blessed the merciful and exemplifies justice and mercy and faithfulness.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This Man is a raconteur and asks more questions than He gives
answers.<span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>He is a true, righteous,
faithful friend. Jesus is the Light of the World and in Him there is no
darkness. He is the Rock that we can stand on when there’s shifting sand all
around. And Jesus is our Shelter from the storm. He is our Help and our
Salvation.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What the world needs now is Love, Sweet Love. And that is
exactly what Jesus is: Love. We who know Him need to represent Him well
right now, by exhibiting all of His qualities to our fullest.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">After all, He is our Good Shepherd and we should follow Him and His voice.</span> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Peace unto you.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: "calibri";"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-78759439590139902622017-06-05T09:45:00.000-07:002017-06-05T10:27:43.621-07:00P4E.269 Dark Matter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CpxPheOHXg4/WTWJSPuOTiI/AAAAAAAABAs/UefiYpY-Uiw66Xna1q83taIuzhod5J--wCLcB/s1600/Galaxy2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="992" data-original-width="1200" height="264" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CpxPheOHXg4/WTWJSPuOTiI/AAAAAAAABAs/UefiYpY-Uiw66Xna1q83taIuzhod5J--wCLcB/s320/Galaxy2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
The intersection of science and religion has always
interested me. An exchange between CNN’s Fareed Zakaria and his guest Brian
Greene, a week ago (May 28, 2017), really caught my attention.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fareed Zakaria introduced Brian Greene as “one of today's
foremost scientists, a master of super-string theory, the host of Nova shows
and the co-founder of the World Science Festival, which kicks off this week in
New York City.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s a part of the transcript of the show:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ZAKARIA: …for example, I'll give you one that even I
struggle with, dark matter. <br />
<br />
GREENE: Yeah. <br />
<br />
ZAKARIA: I just don't understand it. It's one of these things where you're
told, "OK, most of the universe is actually made up of dark matter, and we
can't see it; we can't touch it; we can't feel it; we don't know, kind of, know
what it does and we don't know why it exists."<br />
<br />
GREENE: Yeah. <br />
<br />
ZAKARIA: So what am I to make of that? <br />
<br />
(LAUGHTER)<br />
<br />
GREENE: Well, that's actually a thrilling idea, if you can wrap your mind
around it. So you mind spending 30 seconds on dark matter, just for the heck of
it? <br />
<br />
ZAKARIA: Yeah. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
GREENE: So when we observe galaxies, we find that they're
spinning around at such a rate that stars on the edge should be flung outward,
sort of, like water droplets on a bicycle wheel that's spinning fast. The water
gets flung out. But the stars aren't getting flung out. Something must be
holding them in. We don't see anything that can do that. But we know gravity
has the power to hold things together. So we imagine that maybe there's some
matter out there that we don't see, dark matter -- that's why we don't see it;
it doesn't give off light -- and that matter is exerting a gravitational pull,
holding those stars together in these spinning galaxies. <br />
<br />
And when we make that hypothesis, it explains observations so spectacularly
well that we begin to gain confidence that maybe the stuff that we haven't yet
seen and we haven't yet touched or smelled yet, maybe it's real. So we build
big detectors and we try to capture one of the dark matter particles. We
haven't succeed yet, but I think that we will. <br />
<br />
So this is a beautiful example of how observations drive rational thinking to
explain the facts and ultimately verify it through observation and experiment
that can be replicated. That is what science is. And that is what can get your
heart pounding, when you realize that the human intellect can figure out things
about the universe that you wouldn't expect, based on casual observation.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What caught my attention was that a foremost scientist found
it a thrilling idea that “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u>maybe</u></i>
the stuff that we haven't yet seen and we haven't yet touched or smelled yet, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u>maybe</u></i> it's real.” (italics and
underline mine)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I rarely quote Scripture in response to situations such as
these, but this seems to relate so concretely to the subject at hand, that I
can’t help but point it out. Speaking of God, Paul says in Colossians 1:16-17</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and
on earth, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u>visible and invisible…</u></i>
all things have been created by Him and for Him. And He is before all things,
and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u>in Him all things hold together</u></i>.”
(italics and underline mine)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s also very interesting to me that scientists have chosen
to call this unseen phenomenon, “dark matter.” Another related phenomenon is
called a “black hole.” On the other hand, God is light (I John 1:5). John 3:19
says, “And this is the judgment, that the light is come into the world, and men
loved the darkness rather than the light…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I believe that science and religion will ultimately be
resolved. We now have in common that both scientists and Christians believe in
things unseen. I find that for me, rather than dark matter and black holes, it’s
easier and a much more comforting, enjoyable, stretch of the imagination to
believe in the unseen personal, loving, Creator God.<br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“For the scientist who
has lived by his faith in the power of reason, the story ends like a bad dream.
He has scaled the mountains of ignorance, he is about to conquer the highest
peak; as he pulls himself over the final rock, he is greeted by a band of
theologians who have been sitting there for centuries.”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Robert Jastrow, God and the Astronomers</div>
</div>
Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-35776533139263867322017-02-21T12:13:00.000-08:002017-02-21T12:13:51.775-08:00P4E.268 Hypocrite<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2_bAIvak-cQ/WKycmgb3hwI/AAAAAAAAA_I/ATKV0tXlLu0Cd7RX-yQ90XxoJsMmZ51yACLcB/s1600/MunchScream.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2_bAIvak-cQ/WKycmgb3hwI/AAAAAAAAA_I/ATKV0tXlLu0Cd7RX-yQ90XxoJsMmZ51yACLcB/s320/MunchScream.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I had a conversation with my wife, Gwen, yesterday. At a certain point, Gwen posed the question, "If you believe that, then why do you act the way you do?"<br />
<br />
It's a fair question. I don't think I'm alone in my hypocrisy (although maybe I am). Why do men (and here I AM purposely posing the question about men, but women are welcome to voice their opinion) think/believe one way and act another? I have my theories, but I wonder what you think?<br />
<br />
How is it that we can set aside heartfelt beliefs, intellectually thought through ideas, values that we hold dear, and think act and speak things that are detrimental to our own well-being?<br />
<br />
Why do we do things that we know are bad for us? How can we be so inconsistent? What causes us to be so hypocritical? Am I the only one?Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-23041803580845156012017-02-17T11:45:00.000-08:002017-02-18T09:12:15.480-08:00P4E.267 Speak In<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0vJTTcidTFs/WKdSm27TWMI/AAAAAAAAA-w/nj007QCU9jMQETV7ll-Xz1jjpCuYtrkGgCLcB/s1600/IMAG4559.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0vJTTcidTFs/WKdSm27TWMI/AAAAAAAAA-w/nj007QCU9jMQETV7ll-Xz1jjpCuYtrkGgCLcB/s320/IMAG4559.jpg" width="265" /></a></div>
<br />
Given the times we are living in, I am sometimes tempted to speak out. But, the better part of me tells me that physical circumstances are put in my life to teach me spiritual lessons. The better part of me propels me to contemplative self-examination. I realize that I have little to no hope of influencing the wide world of politics or government policy. However, I have every hope of positively influencing my own spirit and the spirits of those around me. Instead of speaking <i><u>out</u></i>, I speak <u><i>in</i></u>.<br />
<br />
In that spirit, I'm checking myself: Do I have an inflated view of my own importance? Am I reactionary? Am I careless with my words, thoughts and actions? Am I judgmental? Am I fast and loose with the truth to my own benefit? Can I be dismissive of others' perspectives?<br />
<br />
As well as: Am I overly prone to fault-finding and criticism? Am I guilty of telling only the side of the story that fits my view of the world? Can I be cynical and sarcastic? Do I wield whatever power I have with malice? Can I be fake?<br />
<br />
The truth is that I'm guilty of all of these things and it harms those whom I come in contact with, especially those closest to me. I really only have power over me and the atmosphere that I create around me. I can make it a bomb or a balm. I can be toxic or a tonic. It's my choice. The better part of me says, choose life, choose light, choose good humor, choose patience and kindness and goodness. Choose love and peace.Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-65917152859575268102017-02-17T10:29:00.000-08:002017-02-18T08:54:03.862-08:00P4E.266 Discovering the Mind of a Woman<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IlwQiKXMnBs/WKc5Aklrj4I/AAAAAAAAA-Y/Kl0qC1UaSq8Ctbr9lv2bYY15fpexYoRLwCLcB/s1600/DiscoveringMindofWoman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="371" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IlwQiKXMnBs/WKc5Aklrj4I/AAAAAAAAA-Y/Kl0qC1UaSq8Ctbr9lv2bYY15fpexYoRLwCLcB/s400/DiscoveringMindofWoman.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Some people laugh at the title of <a href="https://www.christquestministries.com/" target="_blank">Ken Nair</a>'s book, <i>Discovering the Mind of a Woman</i>.<br />
And that's part of the problem, isn't it?<br />
The problem that we've been told that it's impossible; that women are from Venus and men are from Mars and that we men simply aren't able to crack the code of a woman's mind. The problem that it's been implied (as horrible as it sounds to read it aloud) that it wouldn't be worth the effort to discover what's in there.<br />
<br />
And yet, the Scriptures admonish us husbands to live with our wives in an understanding way.<br />
This is the paradigm shifting message of Ken's book and ministry: That we men have simply had no instruction in how to understand our own spirits or the spirits of those we come in contact with, especially our wives. That we have not had impressed on us the importance of our representation of Christ. That, even though it may not be our fault that we have not had such teaching, we are still responsible for producing the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (especially in our marriage).<br />
<br />
I've devoured this book several times. Every page is underlined, noted, and highlighted. I've come to believe that Ken is a sort of prophet, crying in the wilderness of Christian marriages, <i>"Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand."</i> His message is at the same time convicting and encouraging. It was, and continues to be, an epiphany to me. I have come to believe that the state of my marriage is a true reflection of the state of my relationship with Christ. When I am angry, impatient, and frustrated, God has used Ken to remind me to check myself. To check my spirit. To check my relationship to my Creator. And that's a good thing.<br />
<br />
This year Gwen and I will celebrate 40 years of marriage. It is truly due to the influence of Ken and his book, Discovering the Mind of a Woman. If it were not for Ken, his ministry, and his book, I surely would have fallen. Thanks, for helping me get my life back, Ken. God bless you.<br />
<br />
P.S. - An important follow-up to this post is that just because I can sing the praises of Ken Nair and his book does not mean that my marriage is in great shape. In fact, for some time, it has not been. I've been failing to represent Christ well to my wife. Part of the motivation for writing the review was to remind myself of who I'm supposed to be. One of the many ways that I can be offensive to Gwen (And here is one of the downfalls of reading the written word. You cannot tell my tone. I'm not being sarcastic or dismissive. Here, I mean to be sincere and heartfelt.) One of the many ways that I can be offensive to Gwen is that I can make other people think that I'm a nice guy, when I'm not. This might cause others to think she's crazy when she complains. Ken knows what I'm talking about. So, I might even be compounding that effect by writing this post-script. I apologize for that.<br />
<br />
In any case, my own failings do not diminish the importance of Ken's book, or his ministry. They help us husbands by setting a benchmark by which we can monitor our pursuit of Christlikeness. I'm rededicating my efforts to be the man God wants me to be because of Ken Nair, his book and his ministry. Thanks, Ken.<br />
<br />
P.P.S. - You might think, man, that's TMI. The reason I've posted this is to give some transparency and permission to my friends to call me on my BS, when I'm shoveling it out. There, you have it.Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-70342406385702622502015-08-18T13:10:00.002-07:002015-08-18T13:10:20.168-07:00P4E.265 The Divine Within<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PfbJxFoBskM/VdOPxwYegCI/AAAAAAAAAyY/FopgZ_90u3A/s1600/IMAG0228.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PfbJxFoBskM/VdOPxwYegCI/AAAAAAAAAyY/FopgZ_90u3A/s320/IMAG0228.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
The Divine within each of us speaks, encouraging us to be kind and generous.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It inspires us to do the right, though more difficult, thing.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But, there is no coercion.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We choose how we will think, speak, and act.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When we are aware of the Sacred within us, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
everything falls into order</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and our thoughts, words and deeds</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
reflect that awareness.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When we forget that the Divine dwells in us, we unravel into chaos.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We forget who we are.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But, the Divine is patient and forgiving when we choose poorly.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So should we be with ourselves and with others. </div>
Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-32374999544310617222015-06-12T11:50:00.001-07:002015-06-12T11:55:07.792-07:00P4E.264 It's Not Selfish<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b4QzAShkBbI/VXsprBeeDhI/AAAAAAAAAug/dXvKJLS2oq4/s1600/IMAG0179.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b4QzAShkBbI/VXsprBeeDhI/AAAAAAAAAug/dXvKJLS2oq4/s320/IMAG0179.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It's not selfish</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">or self-centered</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to focus on yourself</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">if the focus</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is to become</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">more</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">kind, generous, and forgiving</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and less</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">angry, impatient, and judgmental </span></span></span></div>
<br />Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-46068113234240849242015-05-22T14:18:00.000-07:002015-06-12T11:28:21.931-07:00P4E.263 There is a God<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">There <i>is</i> a God</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">He <i>cares</i> about you</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">and is <i>able</i> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">to <i>manipulate</i> circumstances</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">in <i>real time</i> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">in <i>response</i> to the way</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">that you <i>respond</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">to them</span></span></div>
Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-8447564407546018802015-05-20T16:05:00.001-07:002015-05-21T09:18:10.927-07:00P4E.262 Forgiven<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Some recent events have caused me to consider the topic of forgiveness. Forgiveness is one of those things that you can't demand; like love, respect, and honor. I've come up with the idea that being forgiven is not a moment in time. Not a milestone, but a process.<br />
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The idea is that if you can be in the process of being forgivable and asking for forgiveness, then the person you offended can be in the process of forgiving you. If you stop the process, then the person you offended can also stop the process.<br />
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This allows the person you offended to set a reasonable boundary that prevents you from continuing to offend. Until you start acting forgivable again.<br />
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The forgiveness process also involves a sincere, heartfelt, apology. This is critical to the process, because it requires you to acknowledge that you did something wrong. Next, a promise to make every effort to avoid re-offending in the same way is necessary. Then, asking for forgiveness by physically, verbally, making the request completes a part of the process.<br />
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Finally, looking at being forgiven as a process, rather than as a moment in time, cuts short the idea that once the person you offended "forgives" you, you are off the hook and the subject will not, or should never, be brought up again. It just doesn't work that way. If you continue to offend in similar ways, then all the previous offenses will be brought to mind and the accumulation of them will be brought to bear.<br />
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I see no contradiction with Matthew 18 in this approach. In fact, I see it as very consistent with the slave falling prostrate and begging for patience. That speaks to a heartfelt commitment to a process.<br />
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What do you think? Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-35053790080074722412015-04-22T12:10:00.004-07:002015-05-04T09:17:24.776-07:00P4E.261 My Own Personal Firing Line<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FyGKIzKWm7Q/VTllJ1SHmXI/AAAAAAAAArk/FGQhFOkRoM0/s1600/ecce%2Bhomo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FyGKIzKWm7Q/VTllJ1SHmXI/AAAAAAAAArk/FGQhFOkRoM0/s1600/ecce%2Bhomo.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The recent martyrdom of Ethiopian Christians in Libya has some Christians asking themselves, "Would I die for my faith?" Very few of us American Christians will ever have to answer that question with our lives, so the question is hypothetical. And in the comfort of our own homes, it is relatively easy to answer in the affirmative.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A more pressing and relevant question for me has been, "Would you be willing to die in order<u><i> to enter and continue in</i></u> your Christian faith?"</span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I became a Christian when I was 16 years old. After some initial enthusiasm, I didn't let it bother me too much. I was married at 21 and now I've been married for 37 years. But, under my poor spiritual leadership, I shouldn't have made it past 10, or 15, or 25 years. Fortunately after 25 years, with the "help" that God gave me and a para-church ministry, I was able to save my failing marriage. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What I've come to believe is that the state of my marriage is a near perfect reflection of the state of my relationship to Christ. I must be willing to practice my Belief on the person closest to me; the person I vowed to love and cherish. If I can't or won't, I have little chance of successfully practicing it on others. I will have lost any credibility that I might have beyond my own home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So, when Paul says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her," it is not only a teaching about how to love my wife, but how to enter into the Faith. The example of Christ is <i>self-sacrifice</i>. When Jesus told Nicodemus that one "must be born again," and when Paul says that we are to become "a new creature," the implication is that we are to die to our natural selves and be re-born as spiritually alive creatures.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If you ask most husbands if they'd give up their lives to save their wife's, they might answer something like, "Sure, if we were in a room and somebody threw a live grenade in there, I'd jump on it to save her life." But, that's never going to happen. What's far more likely is that my wife will want to watch a Jane Austin movie at the same time the big ballgame is on. What then?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I had to come to grips with the fact that my conversion as a 16 year old was incomplete. As heretical as it sounds, I needed to be born-again, <i>again</i>. I had to be willing to bring myself to my own personal firing line. My natural-self had to die. It was an essential part of entering into the Faith.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Frankly, I didn't want to die to myself. I have a strong sense of self-preservation. <i>What good will it do for me to die? Who will replace me? I have big plans. I want to be somebody.</i> But, I have since come to believe that it would be very rare to achieve worldly success and spiritual success simultaneously. I looked to Christ as my example.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In a worldly sense, when Pontius Pilate declared
<i>"Ecce homo,"</i> he presented a Christ that had been stripped,
scourged, and crowned with thorns. He put on display a thoroughly beaten man
with no prospects other than to be crucified. A dead man walking. But,
in a spiritual sense, he introduced an incredibly powerful man.
One who was willing to die for others. A servant-leader in complete
self-control. I wanted to be like Him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">To continue in my Faith, I must bring myself to my own personal firing line every day. </span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As Paul put it, I'm crucified with Christ. </span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As Jesus put it, I take up my cross daily and follow Him. When my old natural-self dies, I know who I want to replace me: A spiritually re-born man in whom Christ lives. A man who will produce the
fruit of the Spirit. A man who will continue to die to himself every day
and put others' opinions, desires, thoughts, and interests (especially his wife's) before his own.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It is a daunting task. God help me.</span><i> </i><br />
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<i>This piece was written as part of The High Calling Writer Network community link-up theme: </i><a href="http://www.thehighcalling.org/articles/community/share-your-story-called-firing-line" target="_blank">Called to The Firing Line</a><br />
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-76916076169527385732015-03-19T15:49:00.001-07:002015-04-23T14:48:40.700-07:00P4E.260 The Spiritual Discipline of Contemplative Prayer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H9SVHjUof1A/VQtQzPehxgI/AAAAAAAAAq8/X4jHJxfT5ho/s1600/IMAG3485.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H9SVHjUof1A/VQtQzPehxgI/AAAAAAAAAq8/X4jHJxfT5ho/s1600/IMAG3485.jpg" height="238" width="400" /></a></div>
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Our numbers rarely approach 100 when we meet on Sunday mornings at the Community Clubhouse. Almost all of us are over 50 years of age. Many share in common that we've experienced protestant evangelical Christianity in all of its mega-church grandiosity and have opted out.<br />
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Our leader prefers to call us a "spiritual community" rather than a "church." He's the son of a prominent pastor with whom he had well documented disagreements, personal and theological. They've come to a peaceful place in their relationship, but our mentor doesn't want to be referred to as a pastor. Even if the shoe fits.<br />
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There is no "worship team" performing "contemporary Christian worship music." Our gatherings usually begin with a time of silence. We're reminded that our purpose, as a community, is to experience God. We present ourselves to God and He meets us where we are. "Get in a comfortable position," we're urged. Sometimes we're encouraged to focus on our breathing:<br />
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Inhale grace. Exhale judgment.</div>
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Inhale peace. Exhale anxiousness.</div>
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Inhale love. Exhale fear.</div>
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The tone of a brass bowl gong fills the air and we begin our contemplative prayer time with God. Thoughts of the past or the future might come into our minds. We acknowledge them and let them slip away, leaving room to hear from God; to experience Him. If someone were to walk in during the next ten minutes or so, they would find all souls sitting in silence with eyes closed, breathing fully and deeply; at peace. Personally, I have found myself feeling as though I'm floating on a cloud, with the breeze flowing past me; an exhilarating, yet peaceful experience. The gong is struck, giving notice that we are about to come out of our meditation and then again to complete it.<br />
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The spiritual discipline we are practicing is something that may, ironically, slip past many Christians: The practice of seeking God. In our sensory overloaded, confused, and distracted world it seems that many of us have a case of self-inflicted ADHD. We need to move. We're compelled to act, read, sing, pray, volunteer, and teach. But, what we seldom have the spiritual discipline to do is to simply sit in silence, focus, and experience Him whom we claim to love.</div>
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The harvest of spiritual discipline is spiritual fruit. When I'm able to tune everything else out and experience God, I feel love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in His presence. They infuse my heart.</div>
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When I experience Him from the inside out, I more easily understand my place in the world. I'm much less likely to judge and much more likely to live with my neighbor in an understanding way. Instead of forcing myself to perform Christianity, I am calm in the knowledge that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. If God is in my heart, I'm not anxious about what I'm supposed to say. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.</div>
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The practice of contemplative prayer acknowledges the high value that Scripture places on being slow to speak, being slow to anger, and patience.<br />
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I wait for the Lord.</div>
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He hears me.</div>
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He lends help, strength, and courage.</div>
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He gives hope and rest.</div>
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He saves me.</div>
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Of course, being human, I will fall short. And, that's OK. Then, I must have the spiritual discipline to be reminded that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be; allowing God to extend His grace towards me. And, begin again to pursue Him by getting closer and experiencing Him more deeply and intimately.</div>
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<i>This piece was written as part of The High Calling Writer Network community link-up theme: Spiritual Disciplines</i></div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-43532581584643872302014-12-02T10:43:00.000-08:002015-04-26T16:02:02.988-07:00P4E.259 The Flesh Out List Reprised<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-U_9q_Zw3wqY/VTloJ13G9AI/AAAAAAAAArw/hdqeiEIREQM/s1600/IMAG2237.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-U_9q_Zw3wqY/VTloJ13G9AI/AAAAAAAAArw/hdqeiEIREQM/s1600/IMAG2237.jpg" height="191" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 1.4;">It's time that I re-published my "Flesh Out List" as a reminder to myself and as an encouragement to others. What's on your list?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.4;">"The serious (Christian) man diligently searches out God's ways!"</span></div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-3971746788870041935" itemprop="description articleBody" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; text-align: left; width: 648px;">
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">Ken Nair - <a href="http://www.lifepartnerschristianministries.com/" target="_blank">Christ Quest Ministries</a></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 1.4;">As a part of my search, I am compiling a list of the times when I feel weakest to falling to my flesh. What I mean is that there are physical circumstances when I fall prey to being angry, impatient, frustrated and/or other temptations that lead to sin (flesh). The reason it's important to identify these times is that they cause me to hurt the ones closest to me. If I'm to conquer my flesh, I need to pinpoint my own areas of weakness so that I can go to God for His strength at the very moment when I am weakest. I'd be interested to hear if yours matches mine and/or if you have others that you would add from your own experience. So, here goes:</span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 1.4;">I am prone to fall to my fleshly ways when I:</span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am hot</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am cold</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am hungry</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am thirsty</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am tired</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am stressed out</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am sick</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am pressed for time (running late)</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am short on money</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- have to wait</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- have lost something</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am in pain</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- make a mistake</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- feel unprepared</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- have to depend on someone else</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- feel ignored</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- feel miunderstood</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- feel like things aren't going my way</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am doing something that takes longer than I thought it would</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- have an idea that's challenged</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- experience unusual circumstances</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- experience the same darn thing happen over and over again</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am wrongly accused</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am rightly accused</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am confused</span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 1.4;">Remember, the list is not the end. It is the means to identify moments when I'm weak and need to count on God's strength so that I don't do spiritual damage to those around me (or myself). Here's more:</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">I am prone to fall to my fleshly ways when I:</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am alone (they even have a saying for this one: 'you can gauge the character of a man by what he does when he's alone')</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- have nothing to do (this one has a saying too: 'an idle mind is the devil's workshop')</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- believe there is no hope</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- have to take the blame when it's not my fault</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- have to take the blame when it is my fault</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- see (what appears to me to be) incompetence in others</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- my directions are misunderstood or not followed (I thought my instructions were brilliant!)</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am driving (this is (or should be) on every guy's list)</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am driving and lost (I wouldn't think of asking for directions!)</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- forget something (as in, I'm driving two blocks away from home and remember I left it at the house)</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am in a crowd of people (the last time I really 'fleshed out' was (ironically) at a Billy Graham Crusade)</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am inconvenienced</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- see (what appears to me to be) an injustice</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am treated unfairly</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">- am at Holiday functions (I can't tell you how many I've ruined!)</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">What's on your list?</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.4;">Peace, Kim</span></div>
Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-21213110876131853632014-09-05T11:07:00.001-07:002015-04-23T14:06:18.966-07:00P4E.258 Regrets Reprised<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-w4yJ00CwwKI/VAn7f4KNSXI/AAAAAAAAAf0/Ij3wezn1AaM/s1600/regrets.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-w4yJ00CwwKI/VAn7f4KNSXI/AAAAAAAAAf0/Ij3wezn1AaM/s1600/regrets.gif"/></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">After reading my post, called <a href="http://preparation4eternity.blogspot.com/2008/01/p4e057-snafu.html" target="_blank">SNAFU</a>,</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;"> </span><a href="http://www.goodwordediting.com/" style="background-color: white; color: #74a3d0; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px; text-decoration: none;">Marcus Goodyear </a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">commented</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;"> that he asked himself some tough questions:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">1. What am I doing right now that I will look back on in the future and regret?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">2. How can I be fully present with my family right now when they need me?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">3. How can I not fall into the trap of making my family into just another idol that I worship and twist into an enemy?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Marcus liked my answer and I thought I'd turn it into the next installment of P4E:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Well, I don't know what you are doing that you'll regret later, but I know what I regret now (in no particular order):</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Putting those blinders on and focusing the majority of my energy into my work.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Not listening to (and acting on) the "help" that God gave me (my wife) when it came to relationship issues. She is still the "expert" especially when compared to my feeble relationship abilities.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Not understanding (and therefore screwing up) how becoming a "Christian" was supposed to change the way I think, act and talk.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Holding "deep convictions" that I believed were based in my "Belief" and expressing those in a way that was detrimental to relationships with those close to me.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Not asking questions of my wife and others who could have helped me avoid disaster.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- That by not asking questions, I did not remain teachable and therefore became arrogant and stayed ignorant. These characteristics squelched creativity and hindered growth in understanding and wisdom.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Not establishing reasonable boundaries between my family of origin and my wife and children.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Not taking a more active role as a husband and father in the spiritual development of my self, my wife and my children.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- That I have been a hypocrite, in the "whitewashed tomb" sense of the word. I was one person in public and another at home or with those who were close to me.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Being exposed to and becoming a consumer of pornography.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Not believing that I could exercise some self-discipline in my life and therefore being un-disciplined in much of it.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Being a proud, explosively angry, impatient and frustrated man.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Making decisions without being "one" with my wife.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Not understanding the differences between men and women and how they are meant to glorify God.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Not valuing my emotions or the emotions of others so that I became spiritually and emotionally dead.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">- Not handling my finances in such a way that my sons could see a positive, balanced example of what that should look like.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">And that's just to name a few! I know that I've heard other men express some of the same regrets.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">As far as making your family an idol, I don't think that's something that most of us men have to worry too much about. Especially as time goes by it will be much more likely that you will have to worry about the other extreme of taking them for granted, having unrealistic expectations of them, being disappointed in their performance, spending less and less time with them, disregarding them and generally being un-Christlike towards them.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Of course, the antidote to all of this is </span><strong style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;"><em>the pursuit of Christlikeness</em></strong><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">. All of our future regrets could be avoided by purposing to be fully present for our families </span><strong style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;"><em>right now </em></strong><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">by being sensitive, gentle, kind, humble, peaceful, self-sacrificing, patient, faithful, generous, spirit-filled and disciplined (among other Christlike characteristics).</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Peace, Kim</span>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-83551101864069536292014-09-02T17:08:00.000-07:002015-04-14T16:55:15.882-07:00P4E.257 Push Back<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g0eHYsj0Vy0/VAZbe_rIDuI/AAAAAAAAAfQ/uvowDezaJiE/s1600/pushback.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g0eHYsj0Vy0/VAZbe_rIDuI/AAAAAAAAAfQ/uvowDezaJiE/s1600/pushback.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think it’s about time that credible Christian leaders speak up in response to a trend that has been going on in Christianity for a while. I don’t claim to be a leader, but I’m willing to start. The Mark Driscoll/Mars Hill scandal is the most recent evidence of the trend that I want to discuss. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We Christian men have been led down a very wrong path by those who would like to see us “mainstreamed” into the counter-culture. We have been told that we should be “wild at heart,” that we should be “purpose driven,” and that we should resist being “pussified.” </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some Christian leaders have, knowingly or not, encouraged their men to embrace their inner man, to be passionate, to be a better male specimen. This is evidenced by an encouragement towards outdoor adventure experiences, martial arts, and all sorts of ministries whose goal appears to be self-help into “manliness.” The people who are promoting this sect have, in an effort to justify their perspective, lionized Christ, making him out to be bold and passionate; purpose driven and wild at heart; a man’s man; a super man.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All of this testosterone driven encouragement has caused Christian men, in an already arguably misogynistic Christian culture, to flaunt their maleness. I can’t speak to other countries, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this were a uniquely American phenomenon. Christian men are following their leaders and male role models. They’re swearing and cursing. Otherwise, they are increasingly non-verbal and stoic. They are very interested in personal success, financial and otherwise. Christian men no longer have any qualms about embracing the sports, music, fashion, and entertainment industries’ violent, misogynistic, sex-driven view of the world. Following professional sports has become a completely acceptable outlet for Christian men to embrace violence. So-called “Christian music” aspires to be indistinguishable from secular music in its bombast and men love it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The passionate pursuit of living a life that is larger than life is encouraged. A life that social media allows us to display so that we can encourage others to do the same. Social media also allows us to receive praise for our very visible efforts. Many church sanctuaries have become like man-caves, with large screen tvs and loud music. A lot of chest-beating is going on in there. A lot of money is exchanging hands.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is typically male that we would be insensitive to the fact that when we promote the advantages of being male we reciprocally demean women and their role in Christianity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All of this would seem to be at odds with Christ and the IDEA of Christ. For Christ, to become a man was an unfathomable step DOWN. He did not encourage us to embrace and escalate our maleness, but to kill it so that it could be born again in the Spirit. He did not pursue fame and fortune so that He could beat His chest, point Heavenward, and take a knee to give glory to God. Many times He fled the crowds that pursued Him to gain solitude and quiet in which to meditate and pray. He was a poor, humble, carpenter who was described as meek and lowly. He would perform miracles and warn the person He’d healed not to tell anyone. He was not a man of violence, but was rather called the “Prince of Peace.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can find no direction from Christ to pursue excellence. Instead, He insisted that we become like children: innocent, vulnerable, and unassuming, without malice or meanness or hidden agenda. He was counter-cultural in the true sense of the word, not to be perceived as trendy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The main problem with the sect that wants Christian men to live large is the emphasis on self. Christianity is not a “self-help” program. Christ did not look to further Himself. Instead, His thoughts and actions were always directed at bettering the conditions of others around Him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The other big problem with the manliness sub-culture is the emphasis on this physical existence; this flesh and this world. But, Christ encouraged us to pursue a spiritual well-being, not a physical well-being. That spiritual well-being is furthered by one-to-one encounter with God who is Spirit. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Few of the fruit of the spirit found in the Book of Galatians would be what we consider to be natural male attributes: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. May I presume to say that they are more inclined to be attributed to the fairer sex? And so, if to be “pussified” means that I pursue the fruit of the spirit in my life, then by all means, let me be “pussified.”</span><br />
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-17153750816563702652013-07-01T09:55:00.003-07:002013-07-01T09:55:49.388-07:00P4E.256 A Suggestion Regarding DOMA<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2jtClAgF2z8/UdG0Db1yrnI/AAAAAAAAAb0/yfwE-O1B6-o/s1200/Wedding_rings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2jtClAgF2z8/UdG0Db1yrnI/AAAAAAAAAb0/yfwE-O1B6-o/s320/Wedding_rings.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.99715805053711px;">A suggestion to my fellow Christians: Instead of bemoaning the Supreme Court's ruling on the DOMA, let's take this opportunity to do some self-examination. If we truly believe in the sanctity of marriage, that it is sacred, that it is forev</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.99715805053711px;">er, and that it is a vital institution in our cuture, then let's please begin to treat our own marriages as such.<br /><br />Statistics bear out that marriages among "Christians" are failing at a rate higher than that of the "secular" world. Why should that be? If Christians are out there trying to define what marriage is, shouldn't their marriages be successful on many levels? If we are moving to deny people the right to marry, shouldn't we do so from some sort of higher moral ground? It doesn't exist at this time. I especially call out Christian men/husbands on this issue, because in the "Christian" culture the husband is/should be a spiritual leader and responsible for the state of his marriage. And please don't try to tell me there's nothing you could do to make your marriage better. Make sure and ask your wife.<br /><br />Christ warned us not to judge. He encouraged us to forgive. We must be careful not to misrepresent Him. Let's take some time to examine the state of our own marriages and make sure we are doing everything we can to be above reproach. Peace.</span></span>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8401232450301616841.post-58660044353065309382013-05-19T16:42:00.000-07:002013-05-19T17:03:50.535-07:00P4E.255 An Alternate Response to Ivy<br />
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Here is an alternate response to Ivy, the woman who's husband cheated on her and to whom Pat Robertson gave such terrible counsel:<br />
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"Ivy, I can't even begin to imagine the hurt, pain and anger that you've experienced because of your husband's infidelity. You have every right to be angry! I'm ANGRY! God's angry! There's no timetable for overcoming anger! I'm guessing that your marriage has been hurting for some years, so it may take some years for it to heal. And, the fact is, you may never forgive or overcome your anger. It truly depends on how Christlike your husband can be.<br />
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Unlike what Pat Robertson told you, Christianity holds its men to a higher standard than "he's a man and that's what men do." Christ expects His men to overcome their fleshly nature, to flee immorality and to remain faithful to their wives. Your husband did not and he is less of a man because of it. Even non-believers expect their relationships to be faithful!<br />
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The conservatives among us love to point out that actions have consequences. Your husband's infidelity has resulted in an angry and unforgiving wife. Freudian psychology supposes that one person cannot make another person feel anything. It says that we choose to feel how we feel. But, we know anecdotally that this is not true. Actions and words have consequences. Your spirit feels hurt because you have been betrayed. That is normal. That is human.<br />
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You must know that there is nothing you did or didn't do to "cause" your husband to be unfaithful. He CHOSE to commit adultery. And, we all know that Scripture indicates that if there's one act that gives a person just cause to divorce their spouse, it's adultery. Also, Scripture says that adulterers will not enter the kingdom of heaven. So, your husband has some hearts to change. His own and yours.<br />
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Unlike what Pat Robertson told you, you are under no obligation to see the bright side of your life after your husband's infidelity. There is no bright side to it. The burden is not on you to make things better or to change your attitude. That burden lies squarely on your husband's shoulders. Either he will make that effort or he will not.<br />
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The shame of it is that your husband did not write asking for help in how he could help you overcome your anger and unforgiveness. In a way, you are a mirror for your husband's spiritual condition. If he worked hard, very hard, at showing you on a daily basis how sorry he is for his infidelity, how re-committed he is to your relationship and to his relationship with God, how committed he is to NEVER putting himself in a compromised position again, then you might start to feel different. But, if he is not doing these things, how will your spirit change? His spirit must change for your spirit to change.<br />
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Your feelings of unforgiveness and anger are a reflection of your true spiritual state. The feelings will not change until your spirit changes. As a spiritual leader (in the worst sense), your husband led you to this place and, if he is a man who has any character left, he can lead you away from this place too. Unfortunately, it's up to him. He affected your spirit in a bad way and he can affect it in a good way. But, it's going to take a lot of work on his part.<br />
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The Christian culture insists that we "forgive and forget." But, even though God may have forgiven David his sins, He did not forget them. God made sure that David's story was documented in Scripture for all future generations to remember. David suffered severe consequences because of his adultery and murder. His son committed rape and incest and sought to kill David.<br />
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Finally, know this: God hates divorce, but He did not forbid it. In fact, He forbade adultery in the seventh of the ten commandments. And when the Scriptures say that God hates divorce, He is speaking specifically to men, telling them not to treat their wives treacherously. He is obviously making men responsible for the state of their marriages. If your husband remains unfaithful in his heart and his spirit, if he is not apologetic, re-committed and repentant, even Scripture would allow you to divorce him. And you should.<br />
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My heart goes out to you and we can only hope that your husband will take on the responsibility of recovering what he lost because of his infidelity. If he doesn't then you have the choice to leave him. Only by one of those two things will you have a chance of being truly spiritually healed. God Bless."Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12849379816330330674noreply@blogger.com0