You might be wondering why I focus on the relationship that we have
with our wife. With help, I've come to believe that this relationship
is critical to my pursuit of Christlikeness. Why? Because Christianity
is, at its root, relational. Ultimately, it's about my individual
relationship to Christ. In preparation for eternity, I need to
practice being like Him so that I'm ready to join with Him for all
Where do I go to get that practice? Scripture many times, Old
Testament and New, calls me to love my neighbor as myself (wife
included). Fair enough. But Scripture further calls me as a husband to
love my "wife like Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for
her." That is a call to Christlikeness! It tells me as a husband that
the medium through which I can pursue Christlikeness is my
relationship with my wife. The standard for evaluating the pursuit is
the manner in which Christ loved the church (He gave Himself up for
What I'm saying is that my relationship to my wife is a mirror of my
relationship with Christ. And vice versa. So, if I view my wife as
"struggle and strife" it is a mirror of my "struggle and strife" with
This gives a new perspective on what God called "help." As Believing
men, we cycle through this sequence:
1. We grow up under our parent's wings learning about God through them (if all goes well).
2. We leave our mother and father and cleave to our wife. Our wife
"helps" us by being a mirror of our relationship to God. Our marriage
becomes the medium through which we practice Christlikeness in
preparation for eternity.
3. We have children and, under our wings, they learn about God through us (if all goes well).
4. We go on to an eternity with God.
5. Our children repeat the cycle.
For most of us who are reading this, we're focusing on stages 2 and 3
of the sequence. God help us focus!
Your ally in the pursuit of Christlikeness! Kim