Last time I wrote about how many wives see their husbands as "wimps." This is nothing new. Gwen and I recently watched an old episode of I Love Lucy (1952) where Ricky gets a sore throat and acts as if he's going to die. Lucy and Ethel discuss how men are such babies when it comes to getting sick. And Ethel brings up what a double standard men have in that Fred has told her to get up and make him lunch the second day after she broke her ankle, telling her that walking on it would help it to heal. These things are funny because they ring so true in real life.
Gwen has helped me to see an area where I am "wimpy." I'm still working on it. I make sounds when I get exasperated or frustrated or upset or agitated or edgy. Gwen refers to the sounds as the "flesh leaking through." It goes like this:
I'm pouring something to drink and I spill some..."exploding exhale" (this is accomplished by constricting the throat at the base and letting it go quickly while breathily exhaling)
I can't get the printer to print..."tsk" (placing the tongue against the back of the top teeth, gritting teeth and sucking the tongue away sharply)
Something I'm looking for is not where I think it should be and I have to go looking for it..."grrrrrr" (constricting the base of the throat and exhaling while keeping the throat partially constricted...makes a growling dog sound)
These sound effects have a similar effect on Gwen and my son, Ben, as my previous rantings and ravings (which have reduced greatly, but still occur occasionally). That is, the sounds make them uncomfortable and on the defensive. They don't know if I'm directing the sounds towards them or not. It's never comfortable to be around someone who is fuming. I know that myself and yet I still fume......So, Gwen has a rule: "NO SOUND EFFECTS." I break it when I'm in the flesh.
I guess these sound effects of mine expose the fact that at the moment I have no self-control (a fruit of the spirit). That I'm giving in to circumstances and letting them get to me ( a sign of weakness or "wimpiness"). Usually, it's also a sign that I'm not in a good place to begin with. I'm not at peace (another fruit of the spirit) because I'm letting circumstances and the feelings they generate build up; I haven't discussed them with a friend or with my help (Gwen) or with God. Again, I'm reminded of the Scripture that says "...the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart."
There's more to come on this...Do you struggle in the same way?