Tuesday, June 3, 2008

P4E.074 Change

(13th in a series on predator patterning)

Barack Obama is running for President on a platform of "change." Change for the good on a national level is a lofty goal. Except for maybe Obama, we individually have little ability to bring about change (for better or worse) on a national level. Please don't get me wrong. I'm the first to say, "chase your dream." If you believe you can change the world for the better, then chase your dream.

What I am saying is that change for the better starts on a very personal, intimate level. Otherwise, we leave the door open for hypocrisy. For instance, if I publicly take a strong stance against the continuing war in Iraq, but am waging a war of my own at home with my wife, I could rightly be accused of hypocrisy.

Predators do not change. They are very consistent. They act on instinct. They perform according to their predator patterning. Therefore, if I am not to be perceived as a predator, I must:
Step 5: Change for the Better.

Change for the better on a personal level is a lofty goal. I have to be self-aware enough to know that what I am is not "good enough." Ken Nair refers to the "good enough" attitude as "semi-Christlike." My help (read wife) is a good gauge to let me know where I'm falling short. I've never met wife who's said, "I can't stand it. My husband just gives too much!"

Motivation to change is challenged by the Laws of Motion. If my life is moving in a certain direction it's going to take a force to change its direction. The heavier the aspect of my life the more force it will take to change its direction. It takes work and most of us men are not motivated to change if it takes much work.

"...A man had two sons, and he came to the first and said, 'Son, go work today in the vineyard.' And he answered 'I will not'; but afterward he regretted it and went. The man came to the second and said the same thing; and he answered, 'I will, sir'; but he did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?" Matthew 21:28-31

This is the Scriptural version of the maxim, "Actions speak louder than words." They do. I'm challenged by Scripture to change the way I think, act and talk:

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine, and acts upon them, may be compared to a wise man..."
Jesus Christ

"Then the LORD said...if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."
Genesis 4:7 (underline mine)

I am not saying that we need to change from predator to prey. No one wants to be preyed upon. As I said earlier, we are all of us prey to the enemy who would devour us, but we don't have to like it or perpetuate it. I am saying that we need to stop acting like predators towards those who are close to us and who might be considered prey.

Peace, Kim


  1. Hi Kim,

    Please come back and visit my blog again, OK? Here is the link in case you forgot:
    “live with your wives in an understanding manner”

    You left us hanging with this comment: "You should hear what Ken’s interpretation of the “help” that wives are to be to their husbands is! You’d be surprised."

    Now, we just have to hear his interpretation!

  2. Motivation is surely part of it. The actual changing part... sometimes I feel so perplexed as to how to really move forward. A bit of a mystery.

  3. Man, you nailed it with this: "If I publicly take a strong stance against the continuing war in Iraq, but am waging a war of my own at home with my wife, I could rightly be accused of hypocrisy."

    It reminds me of the Screwtape Letters. The demon encourages the patient to direct all of his righteous indignation toward helping people who are far away abstractions--while he treats his mother with contempt.