Tuesday, May 4, 2010

P4E.141 The Best Safety Device is a Careful Man - Part 5

Construction Site Sign

A safe man is careful with: His eyes...

What we do with our eyes can make our wives feel safe or threatened. I should tell you that my own carelessness in this area nearly cost me my marriage. My wife, Gwen, to this day carries deep hurt because of my thoughtless and fleshly ways when it came to my eyes. To Gwen, I may never be considered 'safe' in this area. Only through carefully crafting a new track record do I even have a chance at being considered 'safe.'

We justify what we do with our eyes like this:
'Just because I'm married doesn't mean I'm dead.'
'I'm a MAN and that's what MEN do. It's natural.' (This one is actually true...it is natural but not Godly)
'I can look without being tempted and even if I'm tempted it doesn't mean I've sinned.'
(and, worst of all)
'I'm just admiring God's beautiful creation.'

As Ken Nair, founder of
Life Partners so often asks, "Would that be your spirit or your flesh talking?"

This worldly view is so contrary to Christ's teaching of "...if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out..." that I must stop and analyse how I do what I do and why I do it.

Let me leave you with these questions:
'How strong is your flesh?'
'If you put your mind to not looking, could you do it?' and finally,
'If you aren't inclined to putting your mind to not looking...why not?'

Be safe, Kim


  1. Maintaining a pure heart is no easy thing to do. In our sex saturated culture visual temptation is everywhere. A great book to read is Every Man's Battle by Steve Arterburn.

  2. I don't think every men are tempted, and especially all the day, to look at other woman.

    Maybe I'm living in a false world or I'm blind, but I don't recall my husband looking other woman (and here you know what I mean).

    Oh! And BTW he isn't blind either. ;-)

  3. Larry - It's very true. Surprisingly, the Mall is a place I have to be very careful. I have read Every Man's Battle. Didn't agree with everything, but overall worth the read.

    Nathalie - Thanks for the vote of confidence. I think it's dangerous to paint all men with the same brush. I do honestly believe that MOST men do have a battle on their hands. I'm glad that you have a husband that has remains faithful with his eyes!

  4. I think such statements you mentioned are enabled by comments you hear like: men are just wired that way.

    I have also read plenty of faith boards (women statements mostly) mentioning if women knew what modesty was men wouldn't have to look, etc.

    I think we live in a black and white world, and somewhere down the line common sense was thrown to the wind.

    I liked your article!