Tuesday, June 22, 2010

P4E.161 The Best Safety Device is a Careful Man - Part 22

Construction Site Sign

This is the final installment so I thought I'd recap why I wrote "The Best Safety Device" Series in the first place:

1. Ken Nair, author and founder of Life Partners, teaches that many times wives do not feel safe to share what is going on in their hearts because their husbands have a track record of getting angry, belittling, denying or ignoring whatever they share. It's important for us to help them feel safe to share if we are ever to aspire to 'spiritual leadership.'

2. I happened to see a sign in a restaurant that was relevant in light of what Ken had been teaching. It said "The Best Safety Device is a Careful Man." I thought that it was probably a construction site sign, but that it had spiritual overtones as well.

3. As husbands, we have to be reminded that, in relationships, "safe" is not so much a status as a state of mind. To a wife "safe" means: cared for (physically and spiritually), knowing that we share the same values, not only unchallenged by us but defended by us, peaceful, secure, out of harm's way, not "walking on eggshells" because they don't know how we are going to respond to any given situation, confident that we are not going to "blow up", able to trust that we are consistent in our character when we are not with them. According to the sign, if we are to be a "best safety device" to our wives we need to be "careful men." Careful with what?

4. To recap the series, if a man is to be "safe" to his wife he must be "careful" with:

1. The way he drives. (I know, a weird way to start!)
2. His eyes.
3. His thought life and by extension, his time.

I hope this has been as much a blessing to you to read as it has been to me to write.

Peace, Kim

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