"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45
Recently, a husband told me that he feels like every word that comes out of his mouth about his wife is "under a microscope." I told him, "Yes, they are under a microscope!" So many times I find myself being casual, flippant and sloppy with my words. Sometimes I communicate something that I really didn't mean to communicate. And, sometimes I accidentally communicate what is truly on my heart. By my fleshly nature, I can really be critical. Even when I try to mask it, the words that come out of my mouth can (usually do) reveal what is truly in my heart.
As an example, I recently heard a husband describe his wife as a "neat freak." The phrase and the way he said it conveyed that:
a) he struggled to understand why she would have to be that neat
b) he resented how she imposed her neatness standards onto him
c) he did not value her organizational abilities
d) he felt competition between himself and his wife
e) he did not appreciate her
When pressed he would probably change his tune and say "no, no, I do appreciate her!" But, the fact is that "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Mt 12:34)
So, you might ask, "what's a fellow to do?" I've come to believe about myself that the answer lies in me changing my heart. I need to get to the place where I truly believe in my heart that my wife is a great planner/organizer who's abilities I am not threatened by, but truly appreciate, value and understand. Then my mouth will not characterize her as a "neat freak," but praise her positive character qualities to her face and in front of other people. When I get to that place I can be truly inspired by those positive character qualities to be better organized myself.
Jesus compared the religious leaders of the time to "whitewashed tombs, which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness." That's why He said we must be "born again" so that our appearance and our heart would be aligned, alive, righteous and pure.
God help us! Kim