Wednesday, April 28, 2010

P4E.137 The Best Safety Device is a Careful Man - Part 2

A safe man is careful with: The way he drives.

I know this may seem a strange start, but it is so common for wives to feel endangered by the way their husbands drive that it can't be overlooked. As husbands, our driving habits offer us an opportunity to learn some important lessons in being careful with our wives's spirits. How many times have I heard: "You're going too fast!" "You're following too close!" "Brake!" My wife, Gwen, has often applied the "passenger side brake" or has braced herself for oncoming destruction. When I see or hear these things my natural (fleshly) response is to get defensive:

"Of course, I'm an excellent driver!"
"Everything's under control"
"That wasn't even close!"
"You're overreacting!"

But, since one of my goals is to become more sensitive to my own spirit and the spirits of others, I need to explore what a spiritual response would be. Driving has offered me an opportunity to care for my wife's spiritual state by valuing her opinions/attitudes/feelings, honoring them by putting them ahead of my own and responding by changing what I am doing.

If my wife feels unsafe when I'm driving it's because she perceives (feels) a real threat to her safety. At that point, it's not my duty to convince her of my superior driving skills and tell her to 'get over it' (thereby discounting her feelings...and her). Ken Nair has told me that, as her spiritual leader, I am responsible for the care of her spirit. I'm learning that a more Christlike response is to defer to her feelings in the matter ("...with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself..." Phil. 2:3), prompting me to change my driving habits, thereby producing peace in her (a fruit of the spirit Gal. 5:22). That's a careful step towards spiritual leadership.

Peace, Kim

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