P4E.129 Buying a Truck, 101

I'm remembering one of the first times I was self-aware enough to take Gwen's help to avoid an emotional train-wreck. At that time, we were in the market for a new truck. I was self-employed and, as usual, I set aside way too little time to go out and buy one.

So, late one weekday afternoon, I took off from work and took Gwen and Ben along to buy a truck. I had done a little research and so we went to a nearby dealer. When we went to the office the salesman told me that the truck I was interested in was in a remote lot. I was a little put-off by this, but we got in our car and drove to the remote lot. When we got there, the salesman realised that he had forgotten the key back at the office. He arranged to go back to the office in a golf-cart that was at the remote lot and asked Ben if he wanted to hop in and go back with him. For whatever reason this all put me in a really foul mood. This guy was wasting my time. This was inconvenient. Now we aren't even asked if it's ok and this guy, who I don't even know, is taking my son away in a golf cart. I'm ticked, and I show it. This was not headed in a good direction for me emotionally. My spirit was definitely getting cynical, hard, agitated, frustrated, angry, impatient, and explosive.

Of course, having been married to me for many years, Gwen could see all of this building up. In the past, Gwen would have ignored my oncoming volcanic eruption. She would not have wanted to get in the way of the lava flow that was about to ensue. She could not trust that I would receive any input from her in a positive way. We had recently come under some very helpful teaching from Ken Nair and his Life Partners ministry. I had softened to the idea that Gwen could be "help" in a situation like this. I had given her permission to let me know when I was acting offensively and promised to listen. She took a bold step...

"Kim..."

"What!?!"

"We're here looking for a new truck."

(I thought "well, duh")

"You should be happy. Not everyone can afford to buy a new truck right now."

(I thought "Happy, huh?")

"This should be a happy time for you. It's not that salesman's fault that you didn't allot enough time to buy a truck. Why should you be upset? You should relax and enjoy this time. By the end of the day, you're going to be driving home in a new truck."

For one of the first times in my life, I let Gwen influence me with her positive outlook on life. I didn't dismiss her. I didn't put up the defenses. I listened to what she was saying. I softened. I accepted her help. I acknowledged that she was right in everything she had said. I took a deep breath and mentally/emotionally flicked a switch in my brain and spirit that allowed me to enjoy the rest of the experience. I did ultimately drive home in a new truck.

I won't lie to you. This hasn't worked every time. But, thanks to God and his servant, Ken Nair, I am so much more aware of how I let my flesh get in control that it's much easier to accept the help that God gave me. I'm a much better person for it and I know Gwen and Ben are thankful for that! Thank you, Gwen, for risking all to be my help.

Kim