P4E.238 A New Person

Last weekend, I had the honor of sitting and talking with Dr. Robert M. Miller, equine behaviorist and veterinarian. Dr. Miller is also a world renowned author and speaker. He is best recognized for his system of training newborn foals, known as imprint training. At 85 years old, Dr. Miller is one of the people in whom many "natural" horseman have found inspiration and encouragement. Dr. Miller is the vet who accompanied Monty Roberts as he "joined-up" with a wild mustang he later called "Shy Boy." He is also credited with foreseeing the future success of Pat Parelli as a natural horseman.

In his book, The Revolution in Horsemanship, Dr. Miller says,


"There is something very special about a horse that makes you want to do better with and for them.
But just wanting it isn’t enough because this is something very different and very unnatural for us humans. It takes time and effort to learn to communicate effectively with a horse. You have to be willing to go back to school, to learn and to change the way you behave. You have to set your ego on the shelf and leave it there while you reinvent yourself as a horseman and, often, as a human being.

This new person observes, remembers and compares. He listens more and talks less. He takes responsibility rather than assigning blame. He controls his emotions. He becomes aware of his body language. He tries to improve himself. He commits himself to acting justly. He cultivates patience. He forgives. He lives in the moment rather than stewing over the past or waiting for the future. And of course, he places the wants and needs of his wife ahead of his own.

He does it all, at least in the beginning, because it will make him a better horseman.
It isn’t easy. We cannot wave a magic wand or drink a magic potion and change the nature of our species anymore than a leopard can change its spots. It takes work and lots of it. It takes willpower and persistence, focus and thought. In an age of mindless entertainment and instant gratification of our every physical and emotional craving, those don’t always come easy to us. But if we persist, the payoff makes it all worthwhile."

This is very touching, sensitive stuff when you consider the relationship between a horse and a human. But, I have a different interest in it. Because this blog was started to explore the relationship between husbands and wives I'm wondering how it reads when we make certain replacements. What if we looked at it this way:

"There is something very special about a wife that makes you want to do better with and for her.
But just wanting it isn’t enough because this is something very different and very unnatural for us husbands. It takes time and effort to learn to communicate effectively with a wife. You have to be willing to go back to school, to learn and to change the way you behave. You have to set your ego on the shelf and leave it there while you reinvent yourself as a husband and, often, as a human being.

This new person observes, remembers and compares. He listens more and talks less. He takes responsibility rather than assigning blame. He controls his emotions. He becomes aware of his body language. He tries to improve himself. He commits himself to acting justly. He cultivates patience. He forgives. He lives in the moment rather than stewing over the past or waiting for the future. And of course, he places the wants and needs of another living creature ahead of his own.

He does it all, at least in the beginning, because it will make him a better husband.
It isn’t easy. We cannot wave a magic wand or drink a magic potion and change the nature of our species anymore than a leopard can change its spots. It takes work and lots of it. It takes willpower and persistence, focus and thought. In an age of mindless entertainment and instant gratification of our every physical and emotional craving, those don’t always come easy to us. But if we persist, the payoff makes it all worthwhile."

 If your mind thinks like mine, the middle paragraph will remind you of 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come." Sometimes, we learn something about one thing by looking at another.